Receiving a gift can elicit many feelings. It can bring joy if it is what you had wanted. It can cause anxiety if you are worried about receiving what you wanted. It can cause disappointment if you get a gift you don't like. People can also experience shame or regret if they feel as if they are rude when receiving a gift they did not like.
Here are some tips to help prepare your child for receiving gifts!
My favorite tool is a Social Story. These are small narratives that help a person understand what to expect. Here is an example of a Social Story about receiving a gift at Christmas:
Christmas Presents
Christmas is super fun! I get to see family, I get to give gifts, and I get presents too!
Sometimes I want things and I will get them for Christmas.
Sometimes I want things and will not get them.
These are 3 things that I want for Christmas:
What I Want: | Will I get it? (circle) |
Yes No Maybe | |
Yes No Maybe | |
Yes No Maybe |
If I get the gift I want I will say “Thank you!”
If I get a different gift I will say “Thank you!” too.
It is rude to tell someone I do not like their gift even if that is true.
If I do not get a present that I want, I can make a plan to figure out how to get the gift in a different way or something different I might like.
Christmas is about family and love. Presents are fun but it is most important that we have fun with our family.
2. Be sure to explain WHY it isn't nice to tell someone you don't want their gift and why it is polite to thank them. Our kids might think we are asking them to lie. Consider telling them that gift givers put effort, money, and thought into the present and we are thankful for that. Talk about how saying “Thank You” brings the other person joy. Be clear they don't have to say they love it if they don't.
3. It's important to practice receiving the gift. Role play: getting a gift they love, a so-so gift, and a gift they don't like. You can make it fun like pretending they got one smelly sock. It's important your child has a script so they don't hurt someone's feelings.
4. If they do start to act negatively or forget to acknowledge the gift, gently remind them “Remember what we practiced?” This will serve as a prompt for them and a note to the giver that it's a skill in progress.
5. For students that aren't talking yet, we can program AAC devices, practice signing after opening a gift, or use a low tech method like handing the gift giver a card that says “Thank You”. You can still read the Social Story even if you aren't sure they understand.
Gift receiving can be complicated! We want to teach students that it's about the shared joy.
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